I could write about training ideas, but how many of you are bogged down with ideas like:
No, I like to write about the process of what we go through as lifters, as people, as bodybuilders, as casual trainees to get to our goals. There are times I like to write about myself because its my blog and I choose to.
One thing about me that is plainly evident, and even moreso to the few people that know the real me is this. I am insanely passionate. Sometimes to a fault.
When I go, I go full bore without regard for consequences, without regard to the struggle, and without regard to anything that could stand in my way.
With that passion came a lot of success in my life and a lot of times when I fell short.
Details are unimportant, but the feeling is important.
How so? Simple. Let’s just describe a few things that go into my mind for several paragraphs.
By now, if you follow this blog and my nonsense on social networks, you know that I had bicep surgery.
What you may not know is that I am over one month ahead of schedule and you may also not know that my doctor called my progress phenomenal. Why?
I am not genetically gifted to the point of being a super-healer. I am 38, shit takes longer to heal at my age than it did when I was 28. Its called aging. I don’t take HGH peptides or HGH. I didn’t load up my body on drugs to make it heal unnaturally fast, I worked my balls off with one vision of not just getting back, but coming back stronger and in better condition than before I was hurt.
Each time I went to the PT he asked me the same question:
“Are you being good”
Me: “define good”
“Are you lifting?”
Me: “you know I am”
Once it was added:
*shakes head* “Maybe you should use machines for a while to be careful”
Me: “This is what I do, I gotta squat. I am being as careful as I can be”
What you don’t know is the struggle it is to actually be careful with an arm you cannot use. Try to lift and NOT tense up one arm. Even with a safety squat bar with no hands it is a task. You are essentially reprogramming your body to do something it was not designed to do and goes against everything you have learned about lifting. Everything.
So I started light, each week testing my limits to see what the point was where I cannot go heavier without making my left arm feel tense. It was humbling, it was annoying, there were times I walked out of the gym pissed off, there was a time when I quit my session early out of frustration.
But, I kept going.
I did unilateral work, going as heavy as I could on the right side while trusting muscle transference to keep my left side going for a while.
I sought out people like Shane Church, Paul Carter and Phil Stevens. Three dudes who would give me legit no-bullshit advice on coming back from a tear. I listened, I acted on their advice. There were days I traveled with a 5, and later 8, pound dumbbell. I would take 2-3 times a day and do 100 curls, 100 hammer curls and 100 lateral raises to get the blood flow moving (thanks for that one, Paul).
Over time strength came back to it, size came back and now I can go heavy again.
One month ahead of schedule.
I refused to quit and my passion for lifting kept that alive even as I was beating my head against the wall in so many ways.
Now I look at the scar on my arm, I see my size coming back and I think back to the day when I was in the hospital bed about to go into surgery. I had supporters and friends who went out of their way to help me and encourage me. All that is amazing but it came down to one thing. Myself. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, does or thinks; all that matters is what you want to do, what you seek out to accomplish and the effort you take in making shit happen.
I learned a lot about myself with this injury. Amazingly enough I survived over a decade of violent sports with no major injury so this was my first major physical setback, so I had nothing to compare it to other than my sheer will to come back.
Passion drives that, without it I wouldn’t have done it and I wouldn’t still be doing it.
Its what I am made of. Its what I am the most proud of about myself is my ability to say fuck the world and go after what I want with a fire. Win, lose or draw its what I know.
Each of us has that same thing in us, maybe it has been suppressed or dormant. But it is in there. Trust me it is. There are some basic things that separate us as a species from being just a mammal, passion is one of them. I won’t ever change that about myself, and my passion for what I do, what I love and who I am will take me to where I need to be.
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