ISO training partner
Kansas City M-Tues-Th-Fri at 1:00pm
1. Must follow my programming. My gym – my rules. I train with an athlete-type style
It is a combination of strength, exercises meant to improve movement quality, aesthetics, power, bodyweight, medicine balls, ropes, KB work, whatever the hell I want.
Goal: to be better, to look good, to feel good, to move well, to be a goddamn machine.
2. Lateness sucks. Don’t do it.
I really HATE it, in fact if you can be 5 minutes early that is even better
3. Must be willing to push me and not be a punk when it comes to getting on my shit for not pushing.
i.e. make me warmup, tell each other to stop fucking around in rest periods, push for that extra rep when it applies, be a huckleberry and not a Judas.
4. Must be willing to take verbal training abuse.
I will mock you, and I expect it back. I will berate you if I see you sandbagging something. I do expect it back. I don’t care if I yell at you and wish you were dead, you need to be willing to take that and tell me, “just get it fucking done”.
5. Must tolerate death metal.
Hip hop is also played, but I do prefer a good slice of death. Loud, angry, fast, brutal, and just grinds at your core.
6. Be competent with training. We train, I ain’t coaching you. You want coaching, pay me.
Fact is that I get paid to coach, I ain’t writing you a custom program to be my training partner, you will work with me, and your input is valued, but I am not here to teach you how to squat. If you need that, I am 80 bucks an hour for personal coaching.
7. Follow gym rules with putting back equipment and keeping it clean.
I own this gym, I put my own shit back, you will also.
8. Minimal small talk and minimal phone use.
The joking around is cool, but we can wait to talk about other shit and if I see you hanging on your phone typing away when we need to be training, I will kindly ask you to take that phone off your fingers and wrap those hands around a fucking bar instead.
9. Have fun with the process and be malleable towards new concepts and exercises I want to try.
I am a coach, and I pride myself on trying new things here and there. I will occasionally throw in an exercise I want to do without regard for my program, and I won’t care. I need you to understand that and be ok with it.
It will be fun, but sometimes random happens.
10. Have no goals other than being a damn machine worthy of the gods
So what is my goal of training:
As I stated above – to be better, to look good, to feel good, to move well, to be a goddamn machine.
I don’t compete anymore, I have nothing left to prove to anyone but myself as I get older, I want to train for the love of it and that is all.
I train alone and am willing to bend that for the right person as long as the right person knows what they are in for.
My gym is located at 1714 Holmes Street in downtown KC. If you need a location, Google Map that bitch and find out.
This is a free gym membership because you are my training partner. This doesn’t mean open gym, classes, group coaching, this means you train with me and you reap the benefits of it.
I can promise you it will be rewarding, it will be fun, and despite my gestapo-like words above (which are essentially what any good training partnership needs), it will be worth your time.
I recognize that 1pm is an odd time for most people, I do own a gym and that is the time I have allotted to train.
I don’t expect many people, hell anybody, to actually “apply” for this, but you never know until you put it out there, right?
For that one person who may want to do this – send me an email. Fuck it, you have nothing to lose other than your dignity when a 44 year old washed up ex athlete still trains harder than most people.
L U L Z
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